Deciding to be responsible

Sometimes I still feel like I am pretending to be a grown-up. I wonder how long it will last. Will it be gone when I am 30? 40? In all likelyhood, I will always have moments like that.

For example, I never ever eat supper at the kitchen table. Whenever I do, I always feel like I am playing house.I have to eat my food either at the computer or in front of the tv.

I recently overheard one of my friends get a very strong recommendation to get a family doctor. This seemed like a very food idea, as there are plenty of benifits, one being avoiding the lineups at the medicenter. Plus, it just seemed like a very grown up, responsible thing to do. So I got myself a 'consultation' with a family doctor today.

My only problem is that I don't like her. I have two reasons:

1. She just does not look healthy. She looks frail. I am sorry, but I don't want a frail looking doctor. And I know she is most likely getting treated for whatever it is, but that is just wierd.

2. She rushed me. And I know there was a waiting room full of people and I was not even sick, but she did not get my family medical history (which is long and colorful), and did not give me what I considered to be a satisfactory answer to my one question. And even if there was no satisfactory answer to be had to my question, she seemed to dismiss what I considered important, and did not empathize with me at all.

Sometimes there just does not seem to be any point to being adult and responsible.