The Five Love Languages

Many people have heard of the book The Five Love Languages. Though it is aimed for married couples, it is a good read for self-awareness and to apply it to other relationships in your life. Several years ago I took the quiz at the back of the book that tells you which one you are. I forget which one was highest, but all five love languages were close together except for gifts, which was subsantially less. I thought I would write a short reflection piece on the love languages in my life.

Quality Time
This one is important to me because I can't spend a lot of time by myself. Sure, some quiet alonetime s good for reflection, but I am energized when I am in social situations. Being around people helps me to not get too caught up in my own head. When Rebekah lived here, we would hang out in the mall or talk to each other when we were getting ready for bed. My friendship with Robbie is based on quality time- we hang out. I gained a new friend in Samantha in the past couple months through having quality time each week.I take time to spend with my family- us girls are all going out for supper tonight and while growing up we would eat supper together every night. When I am with someone, I feel close to them.

Words of Affirmation
This one is very important to me in the workplace. I have a need to feel apreciated. Positive feedback is what motivates me to excel in the workplace. Without words of affirmation, I feel uncertain if I am doing something right or if I am getting in the way. When I feel appreciated, I am excited about going to work and I enjoy work. Without it? I am just putting in my time. In friendship, it isn't quite as important. I figure if someone chooses to spend time with me, that is an affirmation in itself. I freely give out word of affirmation to my family and friends- I tell them I love them and am quick to give a compliment. At the same time, I am much less likely to give words of affirmation to a man, but I am not sure why that is or if it is even something that rquires changing.

Physical Touch
This one is one that I am becoming a lot more self-aware on. I am very much a physical touch person with my family, I frequently give hugs and touch family members. My moods are a lot more stable now that I see family members each day and often receive hugs and other affectionate touches. I enjoy having a cat that is free with his affection (when he isn't hyper). I give lots of friends hugs- usualy hello and goodbye type hugs. Some of the younger girls that look up to me I give lots of hugs to. Other friends I don't hug that much considering how close we are. And that is all before we even start talking about men! Other than the hello/goodbye hugs I mentioned earlier, I usually do not receive much physical touch from men, and that is okay for me right now. In my head I know that I don't want to be receiving physical affection from someone that doesn't belong to me- and as of yet, no one belongs to me. But when I do get physical touch- a massage or a snowball fight or being tickled- it just is so nice and I realize how much I miss it in everyday life.

Acts of Service
This one is not that big in my life right now. Growing up, my dad was acts of service and I always felt loved when he would wait for me to come home (he always waited up for me, I never came home with him already in bed) and looking back I know that was a big part of his life. A week before he fell, my dad helped me out for one last time when he took care of the broken window on my car for me. However, now I do acts of service, though for me it isn't as much an act of love but ecause who else will? When I lived with Rebekah, I knew that this one was a big one for her- to make sure she was in a good mood I would clean the kitchen before she got home. For Laura, that wouldn't mean anything other than extra clean dishes.

Gifts
Intellectually, I can understand giving gifts. For myself, gifts aren't that big of a deal (though if a future boyfriend gave me anything householdy he would be getting an earful from me). I prefer the things that come along with the gift like quality time or acts of service, whether it be taking me out for lunch or getting and changing a lightbub for me. Those I would probably find more loving then just the gift card for the restraunt or the light bulbs.